The Meaning of Birthdays


"Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come."
- Lucy Larcom

I cannot imagine how quickly another year had just flown by and it was once again my birthday two weeks back, another time for me to sit down, reflect on the adventures and lessons I have learnt and starting determining where I should head towards from here since I am already 25. I wouldn't say I am too old, but not young at all to ultimately pin down and finalise my lifetime goal. There ain't after all, much time left for me to fail, try again etc.

And this fact left me extremely depressed with how I seemed to have "wasted" my life. Truth to be told, I believe I am someone who is born with a shameless amount of ambition and tend to have a huge appetite for winning in everything I do - I want to be a high-achiever and it seems like the more I want it, the further I am away from it, and I felt like a total failure for how little I have achieved over the past 25 years and how minimal I have done for my own future. I felt worthless, I felt inferior to everyone else around me, I felt that I have thought too highly of myself, and that I am nothing extraordinary.

"Real birthdays are not annual affairs. Real birthdays are the days when we have a new birth."
- Ralph Parlette

But I was fortunate that my desire to win, even though it wasn't such a great thing to begin with, eventually saved me from drowining in all the negativity that was going on in my head. I learnt to accept the fact that I cannot possibly control everything that have happened or is going to happen to me, and started taking stock of the good and bad things that I have went through (so I can be grateful and appreciative), what I am good at (not much actually) and what I really like to do (other than sleeping), so that I can come up with a few potential plans that I could implement along the way.

Instead of forcing everything to go accordingly to plan and stressing myself out when it doesn't, I understood that I should be enjoying life as it takes me. I ever thought of enrolling in Law School many times before because I am envious of how "important" these lawyers seem to be and I want to be someone like that too. However, I eventually decided against it upon realising that I am already a jack of all trades, master of none, and this is probably going to turn out to be another thing I know but will never be good at. Going for a totally different route is probably just pushing the "mid-life crisis" I have facing now back by a few years. I could imagine me having the same issue when I graduate so wouldn't it be more effective to make use of what I have in me now, than to keep on pursuing dreams and other stuff that are not meant to be mine?

"Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is. The most important product of his effort is his own personality."
- Erich Fromm

And so, with the list I have in hand, I have at long last decided the career path that would maximises my current strength and the jobscope I have in mind is rather specific, meaning unlike past experience where I can just apply for any job openings available in the market, there is not going to be many options open for me this time round. But on the brighter side, being selective promises a higher possibility for me to do what I really want to do and gives me all the reasons to stick through come what may. In the meantime, I shan't job-hop if it does no help in enhancing my skill set - no difference being a generalist here and a generalist there anyhow =x

An alternative path would be for me to just pack up and head to Korea to work and study at the same time. Sometimes, rather than to insist something to happen, what one really need to do is to be patient and just give it some time, isn't it? Maybe opportunities will come knocking when I eventually return as a more independent and matured adult. Besides, this would be a fine experience for a 25-year-old with no commitments yet, and perhaps that is where my cute Korean boyfriend is waiting for me to appear? Lol!

Anyways, what I am trying to say is that I am not going to scrimp and save every cent anymore. Not that I ever did since I am quite a spendthrift, but I always thought the figure in my bank account is not increasing as much as I would like it to happen so I am not going to insist on the impossible and miss out on living my life any longer, putting off plans that excite me because it might render me bankrupt, denying myself the opportunities to do what I want and get what I like. In other words, being happy and carefree. That was when I went heck the dollar sign and finally got my tickets to NZ booked, a small start to my ultimate travel plans because if not now, then when?

Alrights, enough of the boring talk before you fall asleep reading all these nonsense that has got practically nothing to do with you unless you are just as lost as me. Nevertheless, thanks for reading through ah! But if you are still around and you have a few more minutes to spare, continue scrolling down and take a look at the photos of the food I have had over this year's celebrations lah?

4 days before: dinner date with Princess Bella at Concetto

3 days before: lunch appointment with Annie at her all-time favourite, Ichiban Boshi

2 days before: department lunch with of course, the department at Misaki

2 days before: romantic dinner with girlfriend, Yvonne HOO at TCC Keppel Bay

1 day before: QYXYT meet-up for lunch at Hachi Tei
Omg, this collage looks terrible.. so sawry~~ just wait for the full review blog post ok?

Actual day: sunday lunch with my family at Dian Xiao Er 店小二 to celebrate Fathers' Day too ^.^

Dinner date with long-time friend Soh Yee at Tonkichi

Not considered a celebration but nevertheless, lunch with Hui Mee and an ex-colleague at Hokkaido Ramen Men-ya KAIKO

While I don’t tend to have wild birthdays that I sometimes envy others to have, I do love and absolutely enjoy these low-key meals and catch-up sessions with the people I love too. I am sorry if I haven't got a picture to post for some of the few other meals I have had together with my closed ones but photo or no, I just want to thank everyone who have celebrated my birthday with me either personally or virtually and I hope all of us will have an amazing year with lots of happiness and open doors ahead. For those who have yet to asked me out, my birthday celebration last for a month so it's not too late! Lols.

The best is always yet to come,

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